So, there I was, at my local George and Dragon, with the monthly leftovers from my godless group of Bright/Freethink/Atheistic Whatevers, somewhere after the Slippery Nipple shot but before the fourth oatmeal stout, and voila! One of the ladies says the magic words:

“I got a chocolate body scrub this afternoon, and after that, they covered me with caramel and wrapped me up.”

Me and two other guys simply couldn’t let it go. The image was… delicious. Yummy. Tantalizing. And her skin was soft too (I checked).

But like the sorta-hangover I have, I came to a simple realization. Like everything we consume, Chocolate has an incredible bizarre and horrible relationship with child exploitation (WIKI link). How could the economics of the one food related to happy children, Valentine lovers and fat people be so FUCKED UP? Supposedly, Hershey

Now, granted, I love my sex slaves… I mean, I’d love to have a sex slave, but I don’t want my consumption of food, especially the food I enjoy, to be related to human slavery. And when a woman describes how she was dipped in chocolate to me, I really don’t want the mixed messages that comes.

Because damn, that was one tantalizing description of a woman being dipped into chocolate, scrubbed clean and covered in caramel. MMmmmmmm, chocolate dipped women… yummy