For those that don’t know, I recently purchased a nice truck. I love my truck. 2003 Nissan Frontier, bright blue.

And I was rear-ended yesterday. Yep. So, on the freeway during the freeway high time. I’m slowing down because why? Hey, the cars in front of me WE’REN’T moving! Why didn’t she? Could it be because she’s a stupid 16 year old, not paying for her new car, and talking on her cell phone? I remember her tiny mouth turning into the shape of an “O” in my rear view mirror and her cell phone dropping from her ear.

When we pull over, she runs to my door, white dress, blonde hair. “I’m sorry. I barely hit you… ” the litany of excuses start… and I see the fear on her unblemished face. Decent looking young woman. “Let’s exchange driver’s license, registration and insurance…”

The litany stops.

“Do we have to?” Her eyes roll up to mine, the doubt coming to a head.

“You don’t have insurance?”

“Oh, yeah,” seemingly relieved.

“You don’t have a license?”

“No, but…” another litany of excuses begins.

She heaves in an obvious and amateur way that I know she’ll perfect in about 5 years, pouts a bit as only someone who thinks manipulation is a good model of communication, and moves her chest in some way that makes me notice. Looking up with her blue eyes, she asks, “Is there any way I can talk you out of calling the cops?”

I smiled inwardly. Somewhere in the background of my mind, I heard a shikka-shikka-bowwaaam of a base guitar riff. The Porn… it writes itself.

–

No, I did NOT take advantage of young stupid girl. Yes, I and my truck is fine. No, I did NOT call the cops tho every fiber in my being told me I should have.